A program sponsored by The Family Center of Utah Valley

Bonding & Attachment

Bonding is the process of forming an attachment. Just as bonding is the term used when gluing one object to another, bonding is using our "emotional glue" to become connected to another. Bonding, therefore, involves a set of behaviors that will help lead to an emotional connection (attachment).

A secure attachment in infancy lays the foundation for healthy development in later years. Without a secure attachment in infancy, children are significantly at risk for a wide range of poor outcomes, including difficulty in forming relationships, antisocial behavior, and a lack of the confidence, enthusiasm, and persistence that would facilitate success in school and work.

· Children who are secure in their attachments more freely explore their environment and are able to learn with confidence, while children who are insecure are more likely to struggle in being confident and learning about their surroundings.

· Children who are secure tend to be more popular with peers and exhibit more positive social interaction with other kids, while children who are insecure seem more at risk for hostile, anti-social or difficult relationships with other children.

· Children who are secure tend to be more emotionally stable and able to express and manage their feelings well, while children who are insecure are more likely to be emotionally unstable and have difficulty in expressing and managing feelings.

· Children who are secure demonstrate greater ability to handle stress and help others handle stress, while children who are insecure are more likely to struggle when stressed, act out in unhealthy ways and be insensitive to others who are stressed.

The importance of attachment quality can be significant. How do such attachments develop? The acts of holding, rocking, singing, feeding, gazing, kissing, and other nurturing behaviors involved in caring for infants and young children are bonding experiences. Factors crucial to bonding include:

· time together (in childhood, quantity does matter!)

· face-to-face interactions

· eye contact

· physical proximity

· touch

· other primary sensory experiences such as smell, sound, and taste.

The most important relationship in a child's life is the attachment to his or her primary caregiver — optimally, the mother. This is due to the fact that this first relationship determines the biological and emotional 'template' for all future relationships. Healthy attachment to the mother built by repetitive bonding experiences during infancy provides the solid foundation for future healthy relationships.

Any factors that interfere with bonding experiences can interfere with the development of attachment capabilities. When the interactive, reciprocal "dance" between the caregiver and infant is disrupted or difficult, bonding experiences are difficult to maintain. Disruptions can occur because of primary problems with the infant, the caregiver, the environment, or the "fit" between the infant and caregiver.

Infant: The child's "personality" or temperament influences bonding. If an infant is difficult to comfort, irritable, or unresponsive compared to a calm, self-comforting child, he or she will have more difficulty developing a secure attachment. The infant's ability to participate in the maternal-infant interaction may be compromised due to a medical condition, such as prematurity, birth defect, or illness.

Caregiver: The caregiver's behaviors can also impair bonding. Critical, rejecting, and interfering parents tend to have children that avoid emotional intimacy. Abusive parents tend to have children who become uncomfortable with intimacy, and withdraw. The child's mother may be unresponsive to the child due to maternal depression, substance abuse, overwhelming personal problems, or other factors that interfere with her ability to be consistent and nurturing for the child.

Environment: A major impediment to healthy attachment is fear. If an infant is distressed due to pain, pervasive threat, or a chaotic environment, they will have a difficult time participating in even a supportive caregiving relationship. Infants or children in domestic violence, refugee situations, community violence, or war zone environments are vulnerable to developing attachment problems.

Fit: The "fit" between the temperament and capabilities of the infant and those of the mother is crucial. Some caregivers can be just fine with a calm infant, but are overwhelmed by an irritable infant. The process of reading each other's non-verbal cues and responding appropriately is essential to maintain the bonding experiences that build in healthy attachments. Sometimes a style of communication and response familiar to a mother from one of her other children may not fit her new infant. The mutual frustration of being "out of sync" can impair bonding.

Attachment Quiz - True or False?

Scientists who study parent-child interactions have learned much about what builds a strong attachment relationship. Answer to yourself whether the following statements are True or False.

1. Young children bond easily with a wide variety of caregivers in the first two years of life.

2. The type of attachment relationship a parent forms with a young child has little effect on how the child's brain forms.

3. Infants in the first six months who cry for food or comfort should not be picked up every time because they'll be "spoiled."

4. Young children really enjoy interaction but parents need to be careful not to "overstimulate" them.

5. Young children who have not formed healthy attachments often can overcome this challenge through intensive and caring attention.

The answer to the first three statements is FALSE; the answer to the last two statements is TRUE.

From research we know that:

1. Young children normally form strong attachments with one or two primary caregivers during the first two years of life, rather than many people.

2. The type of attachment relationship a child forms actually helps shape trillions of connections related to language, thinking, motor control and emotions in a baby's brain.

3. During the first six months of a child's life, children respond best to immediate and consistent attention and comfort and cannot be "spoiled" by it.

4. Children need a stimulating environment, but overstimulation can be stressful and have negative side effects on children at times.

5. Many programs exist to help children form strong, secure attachments if this has been lacking in their early development.

Ainsworth, M.D.S. (1973). The development of infant-mother attachment. In B. Caldwell and H. Ricciuti (Eds.), Review of Child Development Research (Vol. 3). Chicago, Ill.: University of Chicago Press.

Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment (2nd ed.). New York: Basic Books.

Brazelton, T.B. (1992). Touchpoints: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development. Reading, Mass.: Perseus Books.

Bretherton, I. and Waters, E. (1985). Growing Points of Attachment Theory and Research. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50 (1-2, Serial No. 209).

www.ag.ndsu.edu

http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/bonding.htm